Have you tried choking during sex before? Choke sex is when someone gets choked during sex and it is a kinky BDSM practice that many non-BDSM people have been introducing into the bedroom. But why are people doing it? Why do people like being choked during sex? There are actually a few explanations for why people like being choked during sex and they are very interesting…and very hot.
For some people, choke sex is simply role-play that plays into fantasies some people have about rough sex and “being taken” which is a fantasy specifically known as ravishment. Ravishment fantasies involve domination and submission with the dominant party coercing the submissive one (with prior consent and heavy communication, of course). According to an article in Women’s Health, sex therapist Christine Milrod explains the fantasy as a man wanting you “so much that he is prepared to do anything to have you”. That anything? Choking!
Choking, like a lot of sexual role play, is all about power. You have power over the man and the only way he can show his dominance is by choking you. Dominance is why the chokie and the choker may both be getting off. If you get off on power and ravishment, this may be right up your alley.
But are there scientific reasons why people like being choked during sex? Actually, yes!
You may have heard of “erotic asphyxiation” which is getting off based on the suppression of air to your lungs. After airflow is restricted, there is a rush of endorphins that get released after the person is able to take their first real breath. When in the middle of intercourse, this practice can heighten the ecstasy felt during sex as sex is an activity that already produces dopamine and other feel-good chemicals. Choking right before you orgasm can intensify your pleasure when you cum. No wonder so many people are trying this!
So should you try choking during sex? Researchers and sex therapists actually urge beginners to be careful. They aren’t kink-shaming – they simply don’t want you to accidentally kill your partner. It is very easy to get carried away while in the throes of passion and end your good time in a life-ending crime that will haunt you for the rest of your days. That is why they recommend engaging in only the lightest amount of force at first or focusing on other forms of pleasure that involve the neck like nibbling or giving you a pearl necklace (no, not the jewelry). Start small and work your way up to choking.
Remember to always communicate during sex. If you are going to try choke sex for the first time, agree on safe words and signals and talk about your comfort levels before you get down to business. It is also suggested that you debrief after to talk about what you both liked about the experience and what you might want to try next time. Consent is sexy, so make sure you consent before you start choking.
